Soccer fans get to read some version of this utter bullshit every 4 years, when an American, (usually a proud know-nothing), spouts off about how the world’s most popular sport shouldn’t be the world’s most popular sport. One has to just smile, and resist the urge to explain; when a person is so intent on displaying how much they don’t know, one can only pat their head like a water-headed toddler, and move along.
Just one point about the randomness factor - look down the list of teams that have won the World Cup, UEFA Champions League, the Premier league, Bundesliga, etc, and you won’t find many winners from left field. At the end of an entire season (10 months), one of the top 2-3 teams almost always wins.
Football fans can explain to you why these are good things that help make football better than the American sports, once you understand it a bit better and appreciate the nuances and the leverage points.
But I’m not even going to bother, because the only answer that needs to be given to this sort of thing when it periodically pops up is that this is just a fundamentally subjective thing, and no matter how desperately people want to try to turn their aesthetic preferences into an objective truth, it’s just not logically possible.
You touch on something true when you mention indoctrination, but it cuts both ways. As objectively boring as your sports seem to me, I am not epistemically solipsistic enough to genuinely believe that this is actually an objective truth; I know that if I were born and raised in the USA I’d probably think your sports are better, too. Your taste in sport is all just familiarity and socialisation and probably some personal variables (eg some people like combat sports because they’ve got higher testosterone).
Intuitively it feels almost impossible to believe, like Hilbert’s Hotel or the Monty Hall problem. I mean, baseball? How could anyone find that entertaining or interesting? The temptation to make a fool of myself trying to argue that people who like it are somehow *wrong* is tempting.
But also like Hilbert’s Hotel or the Monty Hall problem, I simply know logically that my intuition is wrong, and remind myself that the apparent obviousness of football’s superiority to boring American sports is a product of my lack of knowledge of the latter and therefore appreciation of their stakes, their narratives, and the exceptional nature of what I’m witnessing athletically.
But I suppose your incentives are not the same as mine.
Some of what you say is true. But still sports can be poorly designed. And soccer is a poorly designed sport. I mean imagine if tennis was designed so you could serve from the service line instead of the base line. Everyone would win nearly every single serve and I could probably take a few games off if Alcaraz. That would be boring and they would be wise to change the rule and make you serve from the baseline. That’s not just subjective. It would objectively make the sport suck to watch. I think soccer is like that. Change the rules
But no, even if it were the case that football was anything at all like your analogy, it would not make the sport “objectively suck to watch”. That phrase is literally nonsensical, and I don’t think you know what ‘objective’ means.
How is it like that? If there’s one respect in which American sports are clearly better, it’s the parity. In football, it can be too predictable sometimes because the best and richest teams too reliably succeed.
American football is not at all like that. It’s revenue sharing. No teams are richer than any others. It’s the most communist sport there is. Baseball has huge spendings differences between teams. So does soccer. The NFL does not. College of course with NIL is a difference story
At what point would you think soccer was poorly designed? What if nobody was allowed to touch the ball more than once per game? Or some other asinine rule. Would that make it suck to watch? All I’m saying is that soccer is already like that. The rules make it a poor spectator sport
Baseball is even harder to watch if you don't know the rules. You're right about that! I went to a stadium and watched a match once with an Australian girl but we both agreed to leave after an hour because the game was incomprehensible and even Americans didn't seem to stick it out for the whole match.
Oh I have no idea what is going on in Baseball. Mind, that didn't stop me having a good time when my friends took me to a Mets Game in New York. The good company and regular supply of beer and hotdogs probably helped.
Best essay on soccer ever! I've always felt soccer's popularity was due to its being the least-common-denominator sport for the world's poorest people. It requires no equipment, other than an inflated sheep's bladder or the head of a goat to kick around. The basic rules are stupid-simple. Anyone, anywhere, in the poorest village can play and have a decent chance of being the village star. So of course, the world loves it, the way it loves all least-common-denominator things. And yes, I feel smugly high-status by looking down on it this way.
Another boring British sport that spread long before the good ones were invented
I don’t believe I’ve ever read a indictment of soccer with which I agree so completely.
Soccer fans get to read some version of this utter bullshit every 4 years, when an American, (usually a proud know-nothing), spouts off about how the world’s most popular sport shouldn’t be the world’s most popular sport. One has to just smile, and resist the urge to explain; when a person is so intent on displaying how much they don’t know, one can only pat their head like a water-headed toddler, and move along.
Just one point about the randomness factor - look down the list of teams that have won the World Cup, UEFA Champions League, the Premier league, Bundesliga, etc, and you won’t find many winners from left field. At the end of an entire season (10 months), one of the top 2-3 teams almost always wins.
Baseball is more boring than cricket?
Probably not. Baseball has it's moments. But it's pretty terrible to watch on tv.
Football fans can explain to you why these are good things that help make football better than the American sports, once you understand it a bit better and appreciate the nuances and the leverage points.
But I’m not even going to bother, because the only answer that needs to be given to this sort of thing when it periodically pops up is that this is just a fundamentally subjective thing, and no matter how desperately people want to try to turn their aesthetic preferences into an objective truth, it’s just not logically possible.
You touch on something true when you mention indoctrination, but it cuts both ways. As objectively boring as your sports seem to me, I am not epistemically solipsistic enough to genuinely believe that this is actually an objective truth; I know that if I were born and raised in the USA I’d probably think your sports are better, too. Your taste in sport is all just familiarity and socialisation and probably some personal variables (eg some people like combat sports because they’ve got higher testosterone).
Intuitively it feels almost impossible to believe, like Hilbert’s Hotel or the Monty Hall problem. I mean, baseball? How could anyone find that entertaining or interesting? The temptation to make a fool of myself trying to argue that people who like it are somehow *wrong* is tempting.
But also like Hilbert’s Hotel or the Monty Hall problem, I simply know logically that my intuition is wrong, and remind myself that the apparent obviousness of football’s superiority to boring American sports is a product of my lack of knowledge of the latter and therefore appreciation of their stakes, their narratives, and the exceptional nature of what I’m witnessing athletically.
But I suppose your incentives are not the same as mine.
Some of what you say is true. But still sports can be poorly designed. And soccer is a poorly designed sport. I mean imagine if tennis was designed so you could serve from the service line instead of the base line. Everyone would win nearly every single serve and I could probably take a few games off if Alcaraz. That would be boring and they would be wise to change the rule and make you serve from the baseline. That’s not just subjective. It would objectively make the sport suck to watch. I think soccer is like that. Change the rules
But no, even if it were the case that football was anything at all like your analogy, it would not make the sport “objectively suck to watch”. That phrase is literally nonsensical, and I don’t think you know what ‘objective’ means.
How is it like that? If there’s one respect in which American sports are clearly better, it’s the parity. In football, it can be too predictable sometimes because the best and richest teams too reliably succeed.
American football is not at all like that. It’s revenue sharing. No teams are richer than any others. It’s the most communist sport there is. Baseball has huge spendings differences between teams. So does soccer. The NFL does not. College of course with NIL is a difference story
Yes, that’s what I’m saying. Football is like that. American sports are not.
At what point would you think soccer was poorly designed? What if nobody was allowed to touch the ball more than once per game? Or some other asinine rule. Would that make it suck to watch? All I’m saying is that soccer is already like that. The rules make it a poor spectator sport
The point at which it was no longer fun to watch!
At least baseball has some good movies, like Field of Dreams...try making a good soccer movie! 😂
Uhm, Bend it like Beckham?
I thought it was boring...
🤷♂️ to each their own I guess. It’s the first film I really remember everyone going wild in the school playground about
I have attempted to watch American 'Football'. Now THAT'S boring. Rugby for Big Girl's Blouses. ;)
Yeah it’s hard to enjoy if you don’t know the rules
Baseball is even harder to watch if you don't know the rules. You're right about that! I went to a stadium and watched a match once with an Australian girl but we both agreed to leave after an hour because the game was incomprehensible and even Americans didn't seem to stick it out for the whole match.
Oh I have no idea what is going on in Baseball. Mind, that didn't stop me having a good time when my friends took me to a Mets Game in New York. The good company and regular supply of beer and hotdogs probably helped.
I just find the shoulder-pads very distracting (I was never a big fan of Dynasty…)
To improve the game of soccer they should reduce the size of the field by half.
Alcohol is a hell of a drug
Baseball blows too. Football is the best tv sport ever created
Cricket is boring AND incomprehensible
Really? Test cricket at its best is magnificent. A five day mini-encapsulation of the brutality of life itself.
Give me a good curling match any day!
Yeah. That. And add the guy with the metal pole. It’s all do obvious
Ha. Yes. It is truly unassailable. Some might even say self-evident on this 4th of July
Yep. I almost put in something about curling. Good comparison. Another poorly designed and boring sport.
What sort of dipshit thinks the non-American world thinks of soccer as sophisticated?
Best essay on soccer ever! I've always felt soccer's popularity was due to its being the least-common-denominator sport for the world's poorest people. It requires no equipment, other than an inflated sheep's bladder or the head of a goat to kick around. The basic rules are stupid-simple. Anyone, anywhere, in the poorest village can play and have a decent chance of being the village star. So of course, the world loves it, the way it loves all least-common-denominator things. And yes, I feel smugly high-status by looking down on it this way.
I love your description and also think it is why soccer is so great. The simplest games are the best